The Legends of Moemon

In the hypothetical universe in which Moemon exist, we visit now their medieval ages for some fantastic adventures. In the land of Hoenn, two girls, a Breloom brawler and a Haxorus axe-wielder, are cornered fighting a troupe of poochyena bandits.

Haxorus: *whacks her axe into the ground, then uses it as a pole vault and high-kicks a Poochyena in the face* Why did you do that?!
Breloom: *suckerpunches a Poochyena, then kicks him in the head when he lurches over* I don't get it! Stealing from thieves is okay, right?!
(more bandits arrive, and crowd around the girls)
Haxorus: Uh...there's a lot of them...

A lone umbreon bursts through the poochyena, crowd, sending them flying in all directions.

Umbreon: Ya guys! Break it up!

Breloom: Woah! An Umbreon!
Haxorus: Those guys are super rare!
(the Poochyena move in on Umbreon, attacking with swords and daggers)
Haxorus: Hey, stay away from him! He's only trying to help! *thunks her axe into the back of a bandit*

Umbreon: Hey you! *punches a bandit in the face* Don't come at me with those things! ....Though I'd like one myself... So uh, mind telling me what's going on here by any chance?

Breloom: I might've taken something from them!
Haxorus: What did you steal, anyway?
Breloom: Oh, this ability scroll! *digs around in her pants, and pulls out a scroll with strange writing on it* It's...Roar!
Haxorus: Really? Gimme that! *snatches the scroll, and reads it intently* Right then. *yells extremely loudly, making all the bandits flinch, and most of them flee*
Breloom: Yeah! And there's more of fuckin' A *puts up her right fist* And fuckin' B *puts up her left fist* if you fucks stay around! Fuck!
(the rest of the bandits flee, and the one that remains is a Mightyena)
Mighty: Cowards. I'll just take care of you myself. *kicks Breloom in the chest, then grabs Haxorus' axe as she swings it at him, then struggles to get it away from her* Get off it! I want it now.
Haxorus: Rrgh...Fuck you!

Umbreon: Ooh, a dagger one of them dropped. *runs up to the mightyena's side and stabs him in the ribcage before backing off* Ha ha! Finally got to stab a dude!

(the Mightyena backhands Umbreon as a reflex, then reels back in pain, before Breloom leaps up, and jump-kicks him in the chest, sending him to the ground)
Breloom: Haxie, you wanna finish him off?
Haxorus: Seems a shame to end such a handsome fellow, but sure. *winds up her ax, then brings it down in a wide arc, into his head*
Breloom: Ah! *puts her hands on her hips, then turns to Umbreon* Who are you?

Umbreon: I'm Umbry. Who are you two?

Breloom: I'm Breloom, and I fight with my dukes of pain here! *puts up her fists*
Haxorus: I'm Haxorus, the ax-maiden, cutie! Thanks for jumping in, there. How did you send those guys flying like that?

Umbreon: Like Breloom, I fight with my fists, but I put my magic into my fists to make impacts stronger. I just dispersed my magic on impact with one of the guy like a firework and that's how they flew like they did.

Breloom: O.O That's AWESOME! You gotta teach me how to do that! *jumps up and down excitedly, making her breasts bounce*
Haxorus: Oh calm down, Bree. I just had a thought. Those Poochies that fled might come back, and with more. Maybe more Mightyenas. So. We should go.
Breloom: Oh, right! You wanna come with us, Umbreon?

Umbreon: Sure! That sounds like fun. I guess we'll get going right now then.

From their place in what would be Route 101 in modern times, they make there way to Odale Village, a quaint little hamlet nestled in a forest clearing. Zigzagoon, Tailow, Wingull, and Wurmple go about their daily business.
Breloom: Awesome, now I can sell this other thing I stole!

Umbreon: And then I can buy a rucksack for things I'd like to keep on me. *fishes a small coin purse out of one of his sleeves* I hope I have enough on me to buy one at least...And maybe some bread for later.

Haxorus: What?! What else did you steal?!
Breloom: *digs around in her pants, and produces an oddly-shaped, rainbow-colored stone that gives off a strange eminence* I dunno what it is. But it looks valuable! $.$
Haxorus: Woah....what is that?
Breloom: I just said I don't know! Can't you listen?

Umbreon: Huh. That is a pretty weird looking rock. Something that pretty's bound to fetch a high price. Wonder who'd buy it though? *puts his hand to his chin* Hmmmm...

Breloom: I know exactly who would buy it. I know a guy. *winks*
(cut to them inside the only general goods store in town)
shopkeeper(tailow): I've never seen you before! And I'm not gonna buy your stupid rock!
Breloom: Huh? Why not?
shopkeeper: I've never seen anything like it, and likely neither has anyone in the village, and likely, they're not gonna buy it. So why should I?!
Breloom: Aw...*looks sullen, and turns away from the counter* Fine...
(outside the shop)
Haxorus: *brandishes her ax* Want me to go inside and hand her own ass to her?
Breloom: No, don't....I think I wanna keep it now...

Umbreon: *comes out of the store with a new rucksack in the style of a messenger bag slung around his shoulder* Well, I'm so lucky I was able to get this cheap. I guess we could try another town if you still wanna sell that thing.

Breloom: Nah, I like it! ^^ It's so beautiful! *polishes it, and it starts to shine and glow* What!

Umbreon: Uh...Is a genie gonna come outta that now? Why the sudden light show?!

(the light comes out, and forms a very small, humanoid shape, then dissipates to show a floating image of a jirachi, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] )
Haxorus: Woah...who is that?
Jirachi: I am...Jirachi...you have found my prison! Oh, thank the stars!

Umbreon: Oh, I read about you in a book somewhere! You grant wishes, right?

Jirachi: Who wants to know?
Haxorus: Well...us.
Jirachi: Oh. Yes, I do. But I can't right now, as long as I'm trapped in this rock!
Breloom: But you're here, talking to us!
Jirachi: What you see is a light-based projection, using the only magic I can.

Umbreon: So then how do we go about freeing you if at all possible? Rub the rock some more?.?

Breloom: You can rub my rock... ;)
Haxorus: ...-_-
Jirachi: You have to get me to the Dragon's Den by Blackthorn in Johto Region. A very old friend of mine lives there, she'll know what to do.