DevilCorp: Your soul is our business!

In the non-fiery and terrifying but still creepily atmospheric depths of the underworld, there is a business building run by the devil himself. It was built by Nazi slaves and pretty much functions as the go-to place for the devil to do his dealings. Whether it be fame, fortune or acquiring a beautiful harem, the devil did his business in this building and anyone willing to give up their souls were first directed to the offices of his various employees before they came to the big man's office door.

Today marked just about another ordinary day for the offices of DevilCorp. One of the devil's secretaries, Clarissa was busy making copies at a copying machine.

Clarissa: Okay, the boss need about twelve copies of these and...I'll need a couple copies of this file for my latest client. *sighs* Nerds and wanting to get laid.

(in the head honcho's office, Satan materializes in a puff of fiery smoke)
Satan: *throws his golden fiddle on the ground* Oh, God Bless it! Another fiddle contest, and that idiot gets to keep his soul! *sighs, and presses a button on his intercom* Cherry, get me Clarissa.
Cherry's voice: Yessir!

(Cherry runs down to the copy room, where Clarissa is)
Cherry: The boss wants to see you.

Clarissa: Hm? The boss wants me? Alright, I'll go see him. *takes her papers and goes to Satan's office* You wanted to see me, sir?

Satan: I'm not going out to get souls anymore. I always loose the fucking fiddle contests. Go down to advertising, tell them to put out billboards or whatever on the level. Make sure to tell them "NO FIDDLE CONTESTS"!

Clarissa; Alright sir, but here are the copies you wanted me to make for you. *sets down the copies she made for him* Bye. *leaves the office and goes down to the advertising department*

Satan*calling out to Clarissa*: And don't forget to send out the memo about Casual Sabbath! I want you all in your birthday suits!

Clarissa: *calls back* Alright sir! *to herself* Casual Sabbath, huh? Should be an interesting day.

Satan: *sighs, and sits in his huge red chair* Ahh...*sips on a diet blood coke* Now, what's on the agenda today, Cherry?
Cherry's voice: We have a few potential clients to talk to you sir. I'll send one in now.
Satan: Right, right.

Client: *comes into Satan's office* hello?

Satan: ah! Oh. Gosh, you're ugly. Cmon, have a seat. *points to a little lawn chair in front of his desk* What can I do you for?

Client: I want to be the richest and most powerful man in the world.

Satan: Well, you came to the right place. So, just how......valuable...is your soul?

Client: Well I haven't had wild sex or drank till I was drunk or anything like that. I just want money, fame and power.

Satan: Perfect! A virgin and a square! Here..*lays a contract in front of the client, and hands him a knife* Sign here...and here...and here...and your mother's maiden name...and here...and your pet's middle name...and here...oh, and your imaginary friend's maiden name...oh, and your favorite species of bean. and you're good to go.

Client: That's quite random, but okay, sir. *starts signing*

Satan: Great! Now enjoy your new life as Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple! *teleports the client away* HAHAHAHA!

Clarissa: *sits down at her office desk* AgH! Good grief you're ugly!
Female client; I wanna be a beautiful porn star!
Clarissa: not with that mug!

Cherry: Really? We actually have a porn office downstairs, wanna check it out?

Female Client; you do? Well the receptionist told me to go to this lady.
Clarissa: i may be in charge of the lust department, but I really don't work with physical beauty. That's either the vanity department or the porn department as she said.
Female client: Could you take me to the porn department, ma'am?
Clarissa: Please take her, Cherry.

Cherry: Sure thing. *gets up* Right this way, ma'am. *gestures to the elevator*

Female client: Great. Sorry, miss.
Clarissa: it's fine. no inconveniences here. *watches the woman leave with Cherry* Ugh.

~porn dept.~
(the two women walk past offices wherein people are continuously fucking)
Cherry: Well here we are. We offer every kind of sexual documentation possible. Now, where did you want to start? Oh, right. Your messed up face. Well, we can do doggy style.

Female client: I can't be made beautiful right away and then get into the business?

Cherry: Well, we could make you beautiful. ^^ For a price.

Female client: Okay? What's the price?