The Rowan Files

Clair: Yeah, why not?
River: It might be dangerous.
Clair: Meh, it's boring around here anyway.
River: Well, what do you think, Mike?

Michael: I got nothing against it, so I guess you can come along.

Clair: Awesome. *picks up a duffel bag that was by her feet* I'm ready to go.
River: Eh? Already? You had that all along? What about your job at the general store?
Clair: Job? I didn't work there.
River: But...you said so when I contacted you about the staircase.
Clair: Did I? Oh well, must have been a mistake or something.
River: Oh....kay...well, hop in the van.

Later on, driving south down a highway, River is at the wheel.
Clair: Say, you two look pretty similar. Are you guys twins or something?

how does one make a mistake about a job they work at?

Michael: Yeah, we're twins. Why do you ask?

Clair: Cuz you guys look similar. So what's your story?
River: Well, we were search and rescue officers for the Forestry service. Then we quit that when our uncle died and left us his fortune.

Michael: And after that, we decided to be mystery solvers and cryptid researchers.

Clair: Rad. What all have you found so far?
River: ...the stairs. Yeah, we just started.
Clair: What you guys should do is drive along deserted backroads at night. All the creepy stuff happens there.

Michael: Like what? Alien abductions? Creepy strangers who invite unsuspecting travelers into their homes?

Clair: I mean shit like Mothman! And the Flatwoods Monsters! Bright red eyes staring at you from the darkness of the side of the road!
River: We wanna see that stuff, but...Mothman and the Flatwoods Monster showed up in West Virginia...

Michael: And we're in Washington, right? Yeah, that's too far right now.

Clair: Whatever, my point is, weird stuff is still out there.
River: You're right! We could find crazy shit if we just drove around at night! What do you say?

Michael: I just wanna sleep at night... But I guess I'm outvoted on this.

River: Don't worry bro, you can sleep in the back!
Clair: Yeah, or just load up on red bull and coffee.

Michael: I'll sleep in the back. Caffeine doesn't really work on me. *Shrugs*

River: It's true. 'Cuz of that, he always dozed off during homeroom...
Clair: That sucks!

Later on, that night, driving down a long and lonesome road.
River: So what do you expect to see out here, Clair?
Clair: Spooky shit, I dunno. Red glowing eyes and shadowy shapes you can barely make out against the dark surroundings.

Michael: And what are we gonna do when we find them?

Clair: *gets out a camera* Get pictures! High quality ones, not blurry or out of focus or anything.
River: Wow, you've thought this through!